Saturday, January 28, 2023

If Florida Man does nothing else, he makes for great headlines - like this one...

This is what happens when you let the Seminole Indians name the rivers, but that's a story for another day...
Fort Myers, FL - A man's been arrested for robbing a restaurant and defecating on it's floor after police found him nude in a Southwest Florida river. On January 24th, the Fort Myers Police Marine Unit received a report of a naked man who had jumped in the Caloosahatchee River.
Upon arrival, officers found 43-year-old Nathan Long naked and waiting on a nearby abandoned vessel. Detectives linked Long to security footage from a recent burglary at Joe's Crab Shack on 2024 W. First Street. 
The footage showed Long breaking into the restaurant on January 21st, wandering the closed building, stealing several items, then shitting on the floor before leaving. (A surveillance camera caught him climbing through a small window. He then stole multiple items and then shit on the floor prior to leaving the scene.) While being interviewed by police, Long confessed to being the person taking the dump in the footage. 

Long faces charges of burglary, petit theft, and property damage. 
He's being held in the Lee County jail without bond.

Valentine's Day is just two weeks from now.
Think the heart of your heart would like this?

Click on the picture above for information on this bracelet
It's only $18.00 with free shipping.  You can find something nice for 
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Calvin's Mom is persuasive...