Wednesday, August 4, 2021

How do liberals stop their heads from spinning off their shoulders?

 Duplicity, thy name is progressive.
 Or is it liberal? I can't decide... 

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$27.85 for a beer: Erroneous sky-high 
prices at airports sparks audit 


What lawmakers don't understand is the simple concept of supply and demand. If some desperate, stupid fuck wants to pay that much for a beer, fuck 'em - let 'em pay that much. It's not a necessity. And besides, he'd probably be a Red Saux fan anyway, so fuck 'em. Juss' sayin'...
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That's tragic on so many levels. While I'm thinking of it...

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Big N.J. festival canceled amid COVID concerns.

A popular, Louisiana-themed music and food festival in Sussex County has been canceled due to escalating concerns about COVID-19 and the delta variant. The three-day Crawfish Fest, which typically draws thousands to the Sussex County Fairgrounds in Augusta, was scheduled to begin Aug. 27 until the event organizer, Michael Arnone, announced his decision to reschedule it for June 2022.
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When you absolutely, positively need sharks for the divorce.

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Treat yourself to the best 
Cast Iron cooking set around.


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Fuck, man, who needs Randy Johnson? We got cannons.
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I know it's on everybody else's front burner so we 
don't have to beat it to death, but here's a thought:

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I'm so old I can remember when having a phone was a luxury, not an anatomical appendage.
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Only in New Jersey right? This guy is trying to get on a bus with a stolen ATM. Florida Man got nothin' on him.
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These are really good sweat socks and 
this is a really good price for them.  
 


Find 'em for yourself by clicking on the picture or here:
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If you were a graduate of Little Cypress-Mauriceville High School in Orange, Texas in June of 1970, you have some wonderful memories of the band that played at your Senior Prom. This is a picture of that band.
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There's that bartender that's been hiding in her blouse...
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Because I'm a rebel, that's why...
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Imagine looking out your kitchen window 
and seeing shit like this. Fuck...

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Get yourself a great griddle at 50% off today!


Find one for yourself by clicking on the picture or here:
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What would you expect? They're Canadian, ferfucksake...
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Right click on the banner to open it in a new tab and see if there isn't
 something there that you just absolutely, positively havta have:
 
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Tuesday, August 3, 2021

I learned to drive 50 years ago. You must have just learned yesterday.

Learning to drive in The Villages.
Or anywhere else for that matter... 
This is a re-post of one I did in March, 2019 with a little more commentary added, but it seems to me that it's more relevant today than it was then.

Before we start, why not give the beer 
drinker's National Anthem a listen?

Because no matter where you are,
it's Five O'clock Somewhere...
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TRAFFIC LIGHTS - WHAT ARE THEY FOR?
Ok - the light thingamabob up in the air has changed colors. Know what the green light means?   It means you can go now. Not 10 or 20 or even 30  seconds from now. It means go NOW. GO. Step on the gas. Get the hell outta here...

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TURN SIGNALS? WHAT ARE THEY FOR?
This thing is called a TURN SIGNAL. It's used to indicate - TO THE OTHER DRIVERS AROUND YOU - what your intentions are at any given intersection. It not the 'thing I'm doing now' thing, it's not the 'the thing I did ten minutes ago' thing. Now I know back in Iowa or Wisconsiganaho you didn't have to use them, but here you do.

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YOU CAN GO FASTER THAN THAT?
I know you're only going to the mailbox or your friend Ginny's or going to play
'hands, feet and toes' at yer buddy Myrtles. Maybe down to the bocci courts to schmooze with your goombahs. I get it. But if you're gonna drive slower than snailshit, move the hell over and lemme pass fer godsake...

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OH - THAT'S WHAT THEY MEAN BY 'TURNING LANE'
When you're in the left hand 'TURNING LEFT LANE' at a traffic light, do NOT stop at the line painted on the street. Pull IN TO the intersection (with your turn signal on) and go as SOON AS YOU can. Do NOT sit there until the light turns orange and then go, leaving me behind you with the red light. I will hunt you down and kill your puppy.

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GOING SOMEWHERE? PROVE IT.
Whenever possible, and I know this sounds silly, but whenever you can, PLEASE drive AS IF YOU HAVE AN ULTIMATE DESTINATION. The Grim Reaper is NOT sitting around the next bend waiting for you. You are not saving money on gas. Go with purpose my child. GO.

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This works great here in Florida.
Will it work where you live?


Got one a while back for the wife's car. That's the one we do our road trips in. It might work for you where you live. It's here if you're interested:
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I OWN THE LEFT LANE, DON'T I?
There oughta be a law that you can read-end anyone driving slower in the left lane than anyone else. If more than one person passes you on the right screaming curses and giving you the finger, you probably should pull over into another lane...

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TAKE A HIKE, MIKE. GET A BIKE.
Just because you're on a snazzy bike in a jazzy kinda silly-looking Lycra/spandex outfit with 60 or 70 of yer best buds, do not think that my 4,ooo lb. pickup truck has the same 'rights of the road' that you do. Sure we share the same 'rules of the road' but common sense alone should tell you it won't end well if you get in my way.

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AND SHOVE THAT PHONE UP YER ASS...
"Oh god, I'm stuck in traffic - I have to call my cousin Freda and talk about my grandson's kindergarten graduation ceremony." NOTHING is that important. Wait till you get where yer going. And it should be legal to shoot people texting while driving. Juss' sayin'...

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AND THEN THERE'S THE GRANDKIDS.
Speaking of the little dears, if you let yer little grandkids drive around here in your golf cart and something terrible happens to them, IT'S YOUR FAULT you jackass. It's not a toy - it's a motorized conveyance. If they ain't runnin' around on your north 40 back home in Iowa or Kansas, they shouldn't be behind the wheel.

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You can click on this banner to get there...
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Might as well have a peak 
at Nicci while you're here.

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Have a special occasion of some kind like a birthday, an 
anniversary or some other event worth celebrating coming up? 
You can find something nice for your Mom, your wife, your daughter or 
your girlfriend right here. Below are some samples of the jewelry my wife makes.

Click on the picture above for information on this item

Click on the picture above for information on this item

There's a lot more different items of her jewelry available on Etsy. 
Take a look at the one-of-a-kind jewelry my wife creates for women. 
See some more for yourself by clicking here:
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How do liberals stop their heads from spinning off their shoulders?

 Duplicity, thy name is progressive.  Or is it liberal? I can't decide...   ...   ...   ...   $27.85 for a beer: Erroneous sky-high  pri...