Friday, April 3, 2020

What a difference a day makes...


All day yesterday I thought it was Wednesday. 
Gonna be a short week now...

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Latest census estimate calls 
The Villages America’s fastest growing 
metro area.
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Which one do you wanna believe?
No wonder people distrust the media.
These two articles were side-to-side.

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New York City sets up 45 new 
mobile morgues 


New York City is adding 45 new mobile morgues as in-house morgues hit capacity amid the deadly coronavirus outbreak. Hospitals are reporting shortages of body bags as the coronavirus death toll impacts the city's health care system, according to The New York Times.

The city's medical examiner's office has taken over the collection of bodies, sending in dozens of refrigerated trailers to aid morgues and cemeteries that are overrun by the impact of COVID-19 related deaths.
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Ex-Astros slugger Evan Gattis offers profanity-laced apology for sign-stealing scandal 


"Everybody wants to be the best player in the fucking world, man…and we cheated that, for sure, and we obviously cheated baseball and cheated fans," Gattis said, according to  the New York Post. "I'm not asking for sympathy or anything like that. If our punishment is being hated by everybody forever, just like whatever. I don't know what should be done, but something had to fucking be done. I do agree with that, big-time. I do think it's good for baseball that we're cleaning it up…And I understand that it's not fucking good enough to say sorry. I get it."

How come MLB hasn't stripped these scumbags of their Title yet - WTF?
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Under the driver's side seat in my truck. 
Nuff said.



GET ONE FOR YOURSELF HERE:

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Who's fault is it? Maybe.


I hate to admit this took me a lot longer 
to get then It should have.
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It's a little early in the season for this, isn't it?
Meteorologists closely monitoring massive Atlantic Ocean storm churning off East Coast 


Also, For the 37th year in a row, Colorado State University (CSU) issued its hurricane season forecast Thursday — and the numbers appear significantly above normal.

Specifically, the team forecasts 16 named tropical systems; 12 is the average. Eight of those named systems are forecast to reach hurricane status, with winds greater than 74 mph; Six is the usual amount per year. CSU is also forecasting more major hurricanes than is typical per year: four as opposed to the average of 2.7.

4 major hurricanes predicted in 2020 as part of above-average Atlantic season 

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At some point in this whole mishegas, 
security will become an issue. Be prepared.

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They just don't do calendars like this anymore.
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Man claiming to have Coronavirus arrested after spitting at ambulance crew 


But that's not the best part:

A man claiming to have the Coronavirus was arrested after spitting at an ambulance crew.

Sumter County sheriff’s deputies had been called shortly after 8 p.m. Wednesday to County Road 229 in Oxford where a group of people had zip-tied and duct-taped 32-year-old Chaz Maurine Hampton because he was acting “crazy. 

Hampton was put into handcuffs and had been escorted into the back of a Sumter County EMS ambulance when he coughed and cleared his throat. He spat on three of the EMS personnel and claimed he has the Coronavirus. They were able to duck out of the way.
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A cat burglar destroying evidence of his  getaway.
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More ‘complete knuckleheads’ drooled, spit, coughed on N.J. cops while claiming to have coronavirus, police say 


A woman who claimed she had the coronavirus as she “drooled and spit" on a State Police trooper is among the latest people in New Jersey charged with aggravated assault on an officer, officials said Thursday.

Col. Patrick Callahan, superintendent of the State Police, said the woman, who he didn’t name, was pulled over in Morris County sometime Wednesday and found to have an active warrant. Her arrest occurred the same day the state’s attorney general announced six people who engaged in similar behavior toward police faced upgraded charges.
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Florida woman on phone with 911
 shoots intruder, deputies say 

Authorities say a Florida woman was on the phone with 911 when she shot and wounded an intruder.
The Volusia County Sheriff's Office says 32-year-old Joseph Roberts was shot in the arm early Tuesday morning after breaking into a Deltona home. He faces four counts of burglary of an occupied dwelling and four counts of criminal mischief.
Officials say Roberts had shattered a front window and climbed into the house occupied by a 42-year-old mother, her three teenage children and three of their friends.


The woman fired one shot, hitting Roberts, and escaped to the backyard with the children. Deputies found Roberts wounded inside the house.

There's a video of the shooting here: 
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Sittin' at home bored? Nothin' to do? Bullshit.
When's the last time you cleaned your guns, Skippy?


No more excuses. Get yourself a 
new cleaning kit while yer at it.  

It's right here:

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Giving new meaning to 'Holy FUCK that hurts'...
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And yet, through all the craziness, 
we have roses again.
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Friend of mine took this picture of his son Declan and their dog Murph.  

When I first saw it I thought it was a colorized B&W pic.  

Great shot, isn't it?
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Genesis - Watcher of the Skies - 
Live 1973

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Never, EVER own it yourself. Ever.


You guys elect these stupid motherfuckers. You deserve every bit of ridiculous bullshit they spew.
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Sophia tells her own story. Intriguing...


THE BOOK IS HERE:

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Facing DUI charges, Florida couple has sex in patrol car 


No meth happenin' there, huh?

A Florida couple was arrested in Nassau County on suspicion of cycling under the influence. Once in the patrol car, they proceeded to shed their clothes and started having sex in the back of the officer’s car. When deputies opened the car door to intervene, the naked man knocked a deputy to the ground and took off running into the night. 

You just can’t make this stuff up.
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In the last two weeks, new applications for unemployment benefits have reached an incredible 9.9 million. That’s 6 percent of the entire workforce.  
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I GOTTA GET A DOG. I'M CONVINCED.
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TheBlazio's doin' a great job, ain't he?
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Here's your $ 100.00 winner - 
Who is our reader rickn8or ?  




Whoever you are, thanks for paying attention to this silliness. 

You have until April 9th to get in touch with me. Leave a private message for me on my Facebook page with your real name and address and, just like I promised, I will most happily send ya that hundred bucks.

My email is: joej201@comcast.net


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Listen - this stay at home shit is getting serious - and really, really tedious.  

Fuck the stores and the masks and the masked idiots and the face screens and handling cash and all the other bullshit involved. 

Have your household items and groceries delivered to your front door, free of charge. That's what I've started doing - maybe you should, too. Right click on this banner to open in a new tab and find out how much amazing stuff you can order online:


You won't regret it, and it's ridiculously convenient.

2 comments:

  1. Speaking of cool calendars, I have one similar to this: https://www.skinnerinc.com/auctions/2851M/lots/406

    Mine advertises a bar in Kansas City.

    ReplyDelete

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