We break in to our regularly scheduled bullshit rants and other nonsense to bring you this announcement:
We reached 100 followers last night. Good for all of you - I'm so glad so many people out there are enjoying the stupid shit I put up here every day.
...
I'm a man of my word.
Here's your $ 100.00 winner -
Who is our reader rickn8or ?
Whoever you are, thanks for paying attention to this silliness.
You have until April 9th to get in touch with me. Leave a private message for me on my Facebook page with your real name and address and, just like I promised, I will most happily send ya that hundred bucks I promised.
Here's my FB page: https://www.facebook.com/joe.jackson.14473
CONGRATULATIONS!
...
NOW - BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED STUPIDITY:
Elvis had the right idea...
...
...
...
So did R. Crumb 40 years ago.
...
...
As if the world wasn't fucked up enough
before this virus shit started.
Nation's top coronavirus expert
Dr. Anthony Fauci forced to beef up security as death threats increase
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the country's top medical expert on the coronavirus pandemic and a member of President Donald Trump's coronavirus task force, is facing threats to his personal safety and now requires personal security from law enforcement at all times, including at his home.
I don't get it - who would threaten the guy and for what reason - because he's short? What a fucked up society we have nowadays.
...
That's a chart of what the market has done for the last year. Yikes - we're throwin' the baby out with the bathwater, ain't we?
...
...
Adam Schlesinger, co-founder of the New Jersey power-pop group Fountains of Wayne and Emmy- and Grammy-winning songwriter for film, television, and theater, died Wednesday from complications related to COVID-19. He was 52. Schelsinger’s lawyer, Josh Grier, confirmed the musician’s death to Rolling Stone. Schlesinger was hospitalized in March and tested positive for the coronavirus. At the time, he was placed on a ventilator and heavily sedated.
Schlesinger had one of the most unique and busiest careers in pop. With Fountains of Wayne — a group that blended power-pop delight with indie and alt-rock sensibilities — he released five albums between 1996 and 2011. During the same period, he released six albums with his other group, Ivy, all the while building a portfolio of TV and film music. His first hit came in 1996, but it was a song engineered to sound like it was actually from the Sixties: “That Thing You Do.” The track served as the sole hit for the Wonders, the fake band at the center of Tom Hanks’ film That Thing You Do!; in real life, the track charted well and earned Schlesinger an Oscar nomination for Best Original Song.
An interesting fact - The 'fountains of Wayne' (where the group got it's name) is actually a place that sells statues and shit like that in Wayne, NJ - near where I usta live.
...
COURTESY OF OUR FRIENDS AT
...
Kinda hard to believe he couldn't pull it off, huh?
He looks like a real frightening terrorist, doesn't he?
WTF would you expect? His parents named him after a short-order cook his mom was doing on the side...
A Forsyth County man accused of plotting to attack the White House pleaded guilty, the Atlanta U.S. Attorney’s Office announced Wednesday.
Hasher Jallal Taheb, 23, was arrested in January 2019 in Gwinnett County, where he was unwittingly the target of an FBI sting operation. He thought he was buying a truckload of weapons to use in an attack, during which he planned to blow a hole in the side of the White House and also attack other targets around Washington, D.C.
...
Just in case you weren't paying attention.
...
Havin' a little trouble gettin' up in the morning?
Maybe ya need a good swift kick.
This oughta do it for ya...
Maybe ya need a good swift kick.
This oughta do it for ya...
It's just damn good coffee.
You can get some for yourself here:
...
It's getting to the point when I'm starting to think I should add a daily item called
"Today's fucking Idiot Contest Winner'.
...
Pretty soon the only sports on TV will be
ant farm racing from Freehold.
...
...
...
Tiger-Phil II? According to reports, a rematch between Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, who hooked up in a winner-take-all, $9 million duel in the Las Vegas desert in November 2018, will take place.
Here’s the kicker: joining the twosome will be a pair of NFL quarterback icons – Tom Brady and Peyton Manning. According to Golf.com and CNBC reports, Brady would pair with Mickelson and Manning would play with Woods. Manning and Woods played together in the pro-am at the Memorial last year.
...
Here's Jed Clampett Doing an Elvis Thing
You can die peacefully now, having seen that.
...
Get used to it.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Think your life sucks?
He's quarantined with that scary fuckball.
...
...
The White House Press gathered on the East Lawn yesterday for a group photo. Jim Acosta couldn't make it. He was kept after school for asking too many snarky dipshit questions.
...
Yeah - I'm sure that's the only reason he did it.
...
...
...
Might as well put yer free time to good use - like getting some shit done around the house. Here's a great package to help ya giterdone...
You'll find it here at a price way below what they get at Home Depot:
...
...
Since I gotta be sequestered in my house (yeah, like that's gonna happen) I think I'l buy myself a parrot and teach it to scream
'Help - I've been turned into a parrot!"
...
...
...
...
...
Bless me father, for I have sinned.
Jeez. Anything just for a friggin' story -
like we give a flyin' nun's fuck about this woman.
...
...
...
...
Listen - this stay at home shit is getting serious - and really, really tedious.
Fuck the stores and the masks and the masked idiots and the face screens and handling cash and all the other bullshit involved. Have your household items and groceries delivered to your front door, free of charge. That's what I've started doing - maybe you should, too...
Right click on this banner to open in a new tab and find out how much amazing stuff you can order online:
You won't regret it, and it's ridiculously convenient.
Congratulations on hitting your 100 subscriber goal!
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel better, I've seen more traffic on the roads here in NE OH since Gove DeWidiot started this nonsense 2 weeks ago.
ReplyDeletePeople are getting stir crazy.
Anent the poll, I also don't see any change in how people go about their business.
PS Love those old cartoons where the girls, especially naked, looked like real women.
Thanks guys!
ReplyDelete