Some people would dispute those facts, especially guys whose wives had sharks for divorce lawyers, but I can't speak to that, me being still with my first non-ex.
D'ja ever wonder what causes the most divorces?
They call the most common reasons 'The four horsemen of the apocolypse'. The "Four Horsemen" that predict divorce are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
According to some touchy-feely divorce 'experts', you can improve relationships by using "I feel" at the beginning of statements - like 'I feel you're busting my fuckin' balls too much, Honeypoo lambiekins' and appreciating your partner's positive qualities - if you can still find any.
Taking responsibility for breaking furniture and other shit's always a good non-starter, and finding ways to calm down - like drinking heavily and smoking a shitload of weed can help reduce conflict. Having a stash of quaaludes doesn't hurt, either.
Need any more advice after the fact? Feel free to leave a note under the wipers on my truck. Happy to help however I can...
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Those numbers are averages. I suspect a lot of men see an enormous increase in financial health because they spend a lot more time earning income and a lot less spending it than when they were married to a low earning or non earning boat anchor. But for every newly freed dude making bank there will be another blue collar schlub enslaved by the corrupt circus we call "Family Court". As for the women....their "standard of living" drops because they can't manage money.
ReplyDeleteI have been married 42 years and we fully retired 3 years ago. We cannot afford to get divorced. We depend on each other for critical life skills. If we split that would go away but our standard of living would drop drastically. We would also loose overlapping health insurance. You have got to have priorities.
ReplyDeleteI always saw the top reason for divorce was infidelity. My best friend from the 80's became a man whore when his wife got pregnant. He has been married 4 times with all ending in divorce because he screwed around. High school girl friend has been married 5 times because she does not know how to say no. That was why she was my HS girl friend but she cheated on me also.
Actress that started in the late 1930's, and was still in movies/shows in the 1990's, is quoted as saying a REAL man is one who makes money faster than the wife can spend it. Read a number of comments in online threads where guys are complaining that their wife treats them like a wallet. Divorcing gals like that would leave you with more of what you earn. Better yet, don't marry gals like that :)
ReplyDeleteDivorce is also contagious. Over and over I see a group of friends get infected, and then one by one the other couples fall into the trap.
ReplyDeleteMy divorce was caused by extreme selfishness on her part combined with indifference on both of our parts. After 25 years of trying, I was indifferent to what she did. So when she said, "I think we should get divorced." I was "alright. We're done."
ReplyDeleteI never would have brought up divorce, and that is my main regret. I should have divorced her 20 years earlier.
Left out the words "LONG TERM". As far as I can tell the study is based upon household income and as women are more likely to end up with the kids household income appears to be lower than men's. Alimony counts towards income for tax reporting and child support doesn't.
ReplyDeleteYears after the divorce are rough but once the alimony and/or child support stops the payer then gets an income boost.
Also men will take on more risk in their retirement portfolios than women generally leading to higher wealth in retirement