A variation on a theme we talked about a couple of days ago. Vegout.com has a cute little argument for how - and why - you became the grumpy old fuck you are. They explain how the transformation sneaks up on you. One day you're the cool elder who gets it, the next you're lecturing a barista about work ethic while the entire coffee shop pretends not to notice. The scary part isn't getting older; it's becoming the specific type of older person who makes younger people suddenly remember urgent texts they need to send.
1. You've started sentences with "Back in my day" unironically
2. Technology has become your personal villain
3. Your default public mood is irritation
4. Change has become your enemy
5. You've weaponized small talk
6. You judge younger generations for crimes you definitely committed
7. Your patience has completely expired
8. You've stopped trying to understand anything new
9. Your social circle has become an echo chamber
The funny thing about recognizing these signs in yourself is the immediate urge to explain why your crankiness is different, justified, and based on your own legitimate observations about genuine decline. That's exactly what that grumpy old fuck uncle you avoided at Thanksgiving used to say.
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10, Your give-a-shit is broke.
ReplyDeleteJust about all the people I grew up with up with are now lefty climate change disciples… give me an echo chamber any day
DeleteMany moons ago when I lived in a commune in Baltimore and we had a sandwich/deli restaurant outside of Johns Hopkins University we had a ... difficult customer, an older guy who'd eat there 3 - 4 times a week. Don't recall his real name, but we called him PANDG (PAWN-dig). His motto, and whole outlook on life was that People Are No Damned Good! He was angry, belligerent, sour, and generally no fun to be around. But, we always treated him well and he eventually chilled out a bit. Until one day he got really angry at one of our guys, a fellow with long hair and a rangy beard we called Tree Beard. Soft spoken, nice guy but something set off Pawndig and he pulled Tree Beard's beard really hard. 'Fraid we had to 86 him after that. Too bad, really.
ReplyDeleteI'm not fucking grumpy and I ain't gonna fucking tell ya again!
ReplyDeleteAlmost all of the young people I know live their social lives in an echo chamber. Anyone who thinks different is cut from the herd. How many young people have posted "if you voted for Trump, we can't be friends."?
ReplyDeleteOld people get mean so you won't miss them so much when they're gone.
ReplyDelete