My Dad died with - not of - Alzheimers, and his worsening condition was
the reason why Babs and I moved back to the States from St. John, where we had lived happily for ten years.
My mom was a trooper, but he had gotten a bit too much to deal with as the disease progressed, and my siblings couldn't do much to help her, so we were it, and happy to be able to help - on a daily basis.
Anyway, his driving obviously got worse and worse - he actually hit his house twice in one week, so my Mother enlisted me to give him the sad news that he could not drive anymore. I actually had to take the keys from him.
That was the first - and only - time I actually saw my Father cry. I'm tearing up just relating this story.
Sorry, guys, but it's a story worth telling...
I am sorry that you had to go through with what you did. When my own father began to get dementia, not Alzheimer's, my mother (who was 15 years younger than him) was able to handle his untoward behavior for many years. When he finally got combative, she checked him into a local care facility that specializes in folks with mental impairments. The car key incident happened to him as well, but it was related to his driver's license. We got him a photo ID from the driver's license place, and he was happy just to have his own ID card.
ReplyDeleteIt's the feeling of losing your independence and freedom, that hits hardest. I feel your emotions having gone through the same.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that. I'm dreading that day and it's not far away. Some days are good, and some, not so much...
ReplyDeleteIt's sad. My Aunt of 88 in Sarasota just totaled her car and she is worried about losing her drivers license.
ReplyDeleteI will repeat the others: Thanks for sharing that. very sobering. We are also in a position to do the same. At 96, Dad's sharp as a tack, but the body - eyesight, hearing, strength, reactions, etc. are just not there. only two siblings (there's 6 of us) around that could help, but one actually lives with the 'rents and is imho she's worthless, and the other is the oldest and after his own disasters early in life is in no condition to help. it's nice to know that your mom actually appreciates having a strong son around to be "the guy" ... for everything.
ReplyDelete- Chi.
At my age I realize that every day "that day" gets a day closer. Not from Alzheimer's but loss of reaction time and situational awareness. Hopefully another 5 or 6 plus years but who knows? I've resolved not to be a pain in the ass for the kids.
ReplyDeleteI lived all over the US. My father kept getting worse. After every visit to see my parents, on the flight home I would write about the experience. I was able to document his decline over the years. Our last trip, Memorial weekend in 2002, on the flight home I wrote a lot. My wife read it and said I should get it published. She was the journalism major, so I had her edit it. Fathers Day, June 2002, the Atlanta Journal Constitution published it. My father passed July 18, 2002. Some things should never wait. That was all I could do at that point in his life, write about what a great man he was...
ReplyDeleteA wise man once said, "If it's not written, it will soon be forgotten."
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