Learning to drive in Florida.
(or anywhere else for that matter...)
PART ONE
Ok - the light thingamabob up in the air has changed colors. Know what the green light means? It means you can go now. Not 10 or 20 or even 30 seconds from now. It means go NOW. GO. Step on the gas. Get the hell outta here...
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FYI - This is a re-post from 2019...
This thing is called a TURN SIGNAL. It's used to indicate - TO THE OTHER DRIVERS AROUND YOU - what your intentions are at any given intersection. It not the 'thing I'm doing now' thing, it's not the 'the thing I did ten minutes ago' thing. Now I know back in Iowa or Wisconsigan you didn't have to use them, but here you do.
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I know you're only going to the mailbox or your friend Ginny's or going to play 'hands, feet and toes' at yer buddy Myrtles. Maybe down to the bocci courts to schmooze with your goombahs. I get it. But if you're gonna drive slower than snailshit, move the hell over and lemme pass fer godsake...
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When you're in the left hand 'TURNING LEFT LANE' at a traffic light, do NOT stop at the line painted on the street. Pull IN TO the intersection (with your turn signal on) and go as SOON AS YOU can. Do NOT sit there until the light turns orange and then go, leaving me behind you with the red light. I will hunt you down and kill your puppy.
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Whenever possible, and I know this sounds silly, but whenever you can, PLEASE drive AS IF YOU HAVE AN ULTIMATE DESTINATION. The Grim Reaper is NOT sitting around the next bend waiting for you. You are not saving money on gas. Go with purpose my child. GO.
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Valentine's Day will be here
in less than three weeks. Are you
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Click on the picture for more information on this beautiful bracelet.
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You forgot "YOU DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TURN YOUR LEFT TURN SIGNAL ON AFTER THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN!
ReplyDeleteirontomflint
Also, the slower you go when you are attempting to merge, the worse it will be for you.
ReplyDeletePart of staying sharp is how you drive. Born in, "51, all I heard in So, Cal., was "Drive defensively". That seemed to create shit loads of timid, fearful, idiots. My personality leaned towards "the best defense, is a good offence". I brought my "assertive" attitude in driving with me, when I moved to Tennessee. I don't hold things up when on the road, also, I practice prodigious amounts of road courtesy, etiquette. Works great and I never get one-finger salutes.
ReplyDelete