There's all kindsa people who drink.
I'm in the 'None of your fuckin' business' group of drinkers.
Which group should you be in?
...
...
...
...
1. The casual drinker.
The casual and social drinker. They never go out to get drunk, just to have a few beers and socialise with their friends. They are NEVER found to be in a "sloppy" state, but on the one occasion that you do see them drunk, they are absolutely HILARIOUS! They always refuse to admit when they're drunk. You wonder why they don't let loose more often when they're that fun.
...
A little Pat Travers Band
to wake yer ass up.
Snortin' Whiskey - drinkin' cocaine.
to wake yer ass up.
Snortin' Whiskey - drinkin' cocaine.
Like what you're hearing here?
There's so much more great
Rock to explore with Amazon Prime Music.
There's so much more great
Rock to explore with Amazon Prime Music.
Find out for yourself - right click on the banner to make it
open in a new tab and see for yourself:
open in a new tab and see for yourself:
...
2. The binge drinker.
The one who can never just have "the one." They polish off a shoulder of vodka and then some at pre-drinks, and to be fair, can keep it somewhat together after that copious amount of alcohol. They go all out over the course of the night, mixing their drinks with anything in their sight. "It doesn't matter what it tastes like, just give it to me!"
...
3. The happy drunk.
The person who sees the world through rose tinted glasses. They're happy, merry and pleasant to be around. Alcohol has a good effect on them - they don't change TOO much and are able to handle and compose themselves in problematic situations. They'll always be the one who tries to break up fights and settle disputes. "Why can't we all just get along?"
...
4. The depressed drunk.
Booze has a negative effect on this unfortunate person. They use drink as a guise for venting their frustrations. and can often be found crying into a neat glass of whiskey in the corner of a pub. Sulking is also a weapon in the depressed drunk's arsenal - they seek out attention and love being the center of it, whether it's for a negative or positive reason.
...
5. The horny drunk.
This person gets around when they go out. Standards go sailing out the window as soon as drink number 3 goes down the hatchet, and their ulterior slutty personality makes an appearance for the rest of the night. "Who am I going home with?"
...
This is a great little security item for your wife's car or your truck, and I'll keep reminding you until you wise up and get a couple...
There are a couple different sizes and strengths available
but you can find this one here:
6. The rampage drunk.
The reckless drunk who acts as a human wrecking ball once they've entered the drunken state. They're not aggressive in any way but get so so sloppy in their inebriated ways. They accidentally barge into crowds of people, knock over pint glasses and slip and fall on the stairs on their way to the bathroom. A fun person to be around but in moderation - you often end up looking after this one at some stage in the night!
...
7. The heavyweight.
The total opposite of the lightweight, the heavyweight drinker is the king of sessions. They are usually the last man standing, trying desperately to encourage others to stay out longer. Their drinking expertise comes with a price at times, when they are left in a room full of passed out drunks, sipping away on a bottle of red wine at 5am, hopelessly attempting to keep the session alive!
...
8. The "one can man" (Lightweight).
We all like to share a laugh at this person's expense. God bless them, getting drunk on their first beer while everybody else is completely sober. Well there is a plus side to this - they spend an awful lot less money than the rest of you to get drunk!
...
9. The alcoholic.
The one who goes on a serious session of beer after beer, then turns to the vodka or whiskey. Essentially they drink more often than not, running their liver into the ground while they're still young. They can be found participating in frequent "rollovers" in order to beat the almighty hangover.We all know at least one!
...
10. The aggressive drunk.
The drunk that NOBODY wants to be around. Some people can drink, and others can't - it's that simple. Spirits and higher percentage alcohol does these people NO favors, and they're generally better off sticking to the beer. They can usually be found being kicked out of nightclubs, starting fights with inanimate objects on their way home (such as lampposts) or lying on the ground flattened after idiotically provoking someone who's much MUCH bigger than them...
...
I love new geeky kinda stuff like this.
Buy one and throw it in the glovebox just for the fuck of it.
...
11. The Lovey-dovey drunk.
This person LOVES to give out hugs to strangers, rub up against people and engage in slight flirting. They get drunk and see everything in the world as AMAZING! They are a fun type of person to be around, but can get you into crazy situations with their overly-forward antics.
...
...
Figure it out yet?
...
...
...
...
...
...
You have smoke alarms in the house - you should have a stash of batteries and replace them all every two years.
I had no idea Amazon had their own branded batteries, and these have a 10-year shelf life.
MUCH cheaper than Harbor Freight or Walmart
and better quality too.
Find some here:
...
What category do you stick the sentimental weepy drunk,the one who cries at some the old Ma Bell commercials when they encouraged you not to just think of a family but reach out and touch someone or they get themselves so full of self guilt during PBS fund raisers that they donate hundreds of dollars
ReplyDeleteI'll work on it...
Delete