Even the Apostles knew - 'Ya snooze, ya lose...'

JUDEA — Saint John the Apostle has reportedly signed a lucrative six figure deal with Nike following his win against Saint Peter in a footrace to the tomb of Jesus.

Saint Peter has continually maintained that it was not a race, and that they were just excited to learn if Jesus had indeed risen. However, that hasn't put a stopper on Saint John's growing fame as a sprinter. Nike decided to strike while the iron is hot.

"We're proud to have signed John to an official endorsement deal," said Nike CEO Tiberius Calceus. "We're also excited to announce a collaboration with the apostle on the brand-new Nike Beloved J, the shoe for beloved winners. Run like John with a pair of Beloved J's today."

John's deal with Nike is reportedly the largest of its kind at approximately 2 million denarii. The brand-new "sneaker" is already set to beat earlier sales records set by the Adidas JB Thongs, a sandal inspired by John the Baptist. According to Nike, the Beloved J "offers a comfortable fit designed by the apostle himself. It features an innovative rubber outsole for multi-surface traction to navigate tough terrain faster than ever."

Whoever those people are at the Babylon Bee are, 

I'd probably like to have a coupla beers with 'em...

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Yeah - what's up with these fear-mongering jerkoffs like Bernie? DJT or anybody else hasn't said shit about cutting any benefits, yet he's out there every day oligarching his tight wrinkly ole' ass saying fuckin' nonsense and people buy in to it. Sad...

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 A man named Cristo Jesus de Nasareth has an April 22 date in U.S. federal court after a magistrate judge in Texas ordered him held without bond on immigration and weapons and ammunition charges.

 

Jesus – the last name by which he is referred to in court documents – was apprehended by members of the U.S. Border Patrol horse unit on April 14 

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It's not always what they report as it's how they report it. Calling this assembly of usual suspects college kids is a stretch far beyond the average imagination. Howd'ja like to work the front desk at one of those motels, huh?

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That's just friggin' sick. Funny, but sick...

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Have any of you seen this? It's a brilliant take down - from the White House itself -  of all of the bullshit we were fed by Biden and Fauci and every other lying motherfucker out there. After you're finished here, take a look. It's here - https://www.whitehouse.gov/lab-leak-true-origins-of-covid-19/ - and it will open it in another tab...

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That is insanely subtle. Brilliant...

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Make someone's birthday

or anniversary special...

  

 Click on the picture for more information on this stunning bracelet.

It's only $ 40.00 - and come to you with free shipping!

 https://www.etsy.com/shop/BjacksonJewelry

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 There are an estimated 1,500 mosques in Britain. In France there are currently about 2,300 mosques with a further 200 to 250 planned. 

In Italy - the heart and soul capital of the catholic church, there are 4 officially recognized mosques, 4, 906 places of worship and 341 Islamic associations. Rome has one of the biggest mosques in the world. 

Now guess how many churches there are in Saudi Arabia. Yup, you got it. Zip. Zero. Nada. Not one. I'm guessing Easter isn't that big a deal with our towel-headed friends.

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This is my Paternal Grandmother, Camille. 

Born in 1902, she was 19 in this pic. 

She was, among other things, 

a professional ballroom dancer.

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