My wife's favorite saying? "If they were up your ass you'd know where they were..."

Florida Man jailed after pulling drugs out
of his ass. You read that correctly...  

 

This is a story well worth reading...

 

Stephen Edward Mattingly, 35, was charged with possession of fentanyl and drug paraphernalia after his arrest Monday. He was pulled over on U.S. Highway 27/441 at around 6 p.m. by an officer who saw him driving a black Toyota pickup truck without wearing a seat belt, according to an arrest report from the Fruitland Park Police Department.

While following Mattingly before the traffic stop, the officer saw a large pile of various pieces of scrap metal extending above the bed of the truck. On the edge, a dishwasher was not secured and wobbled beyond the edge of the truck bed as the vehicle moved.

The officer conducted a traffic stop and spoke to Mattingly, who said he typically did not wear a seatbelt and was unaware of the shifting cargo. When asked for his driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance, Mattingly said he had never been pulled over and did not know what to look for. The report noted that Mattingly had a lengthy driving history and previous encounters with law enforcement, including numerous offenses for which he was pulled over by police.

Due to the discrepancy in Mattingly’s statement, the officer asked if there was anything such as guns or drugs in the vehicle. Mattingly denied having anything of that nature, but the officer observed a container of Narcan inside the open glove box. The officer asked if he consumed narcotics, and Mattingly said he got them from his doctor at a Subutex clinic.

The officer then asked for consent to search the vehicle, to which Mattingly agreed. As he got out of the vehicle, a clear glass pipe with burnt residue fell out onto the pavement. The residue later tested positive for fentanyl. Mattingly was detained at that time.

A further search of the vehicle turned up a green glass pipe with burnt residue underneath the right panel of the bottom of the steering wheel column. Additionally, a folded-up piece of paper with a brown powdery substance was located inside of the pocket on the mirror above the driver’s seat. This later tested positive for fentanyl and methamphetamine.

 

Inside of a can in one of the cupholders behind the driver’s seat was an unknown liquid containing multiple solid pieces floating inside that appeared to match the narcotics already found. This was seized and sent off for further testing.

Mattingly was placed under arrest and moved to the patrol car. As the officer was leaving the traffic stop to take him to jail, Mattingly told the officer to hold on because he had something “up his butt.”