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"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." — Rita Rudner
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"To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." — Ogden Nash
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" Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." — Henny Youngman
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"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?" — Groucho Marx
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"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed." — Albert Einstein
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"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass." — Rodney Dangerfield
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