Some people see a stop sign and immediately think of going faster. Everything's relative...
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An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
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Baseball is the only organized purely-American
game wherein the defense controls the ball.
Think about that...
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I haven't met the woman yet who doesn't like
someone buying her nice jewelry.
Swarovski Crystal And Rainbow Seed Bead Accents
Click on the picture for information on this item.
Click on this link to see all she has to offer:
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When I was about nine, I had the
set at the top of the page.
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Golf is the only game wherein the object of the
game is to play as little of the game as possible.
Think about that...
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of cocaine hidden inside an excavator.
These friggin' guys are serious, me son...
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watching the Gators play. Or not paying
attention to anything at all 'cept my beer...
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My wife makes really nice jewelry - and it's
all made by hand. Every piece is unique, and
they're all very reasonably priced.
Crystal Gold Rainbow Hand Beaded Chandelier Earrings
With Amethyst Swarovski Crystals And Gold Bugle Bead Accents
Click on the picture for information on this gift item.
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A girlfriend I mean, not a dog...
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Yeah - that pretty much explains why I never had kids.
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It's not too early to start thinking
about Christmas gifts. The jewelry my
wife makes would be a perfect gift.
Tropical Mint And Silver Hand Beaded Bracelet
With Silver Irish Knot Button Closure
Click on the picture for information on this item.
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Interesting - I grew up around Passaic ( Puh-sake ) , and always called that city at the end of the McCarter Highway " New-urk" .
ReplyDeleteNork - like fork. And it was Pisake...
DeleteThe vaccine-microchip story has a basis in fact. The Bill and Melinda Gates foundation funded a researcher to find a way to track what vaccines a person has had with a simple modification to a smart phone. The result was more like a very small tattoo that included the vaccine, lot number, and date.
ReplyDeleteThat was a pretty cool video about the microphones on Mars
ReplyDeleteI'm a science nerd at heart I think...
Delete