We should end every week on an upscale note like this, shouldn't we?
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A millionaire playboy dies, and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks at the list of everything he's done in his life, and sends him to Hell. The playboy re-appears in Hell, but it looks like a huge, fancy cocktail party. All the men are in tuxedos, the women are all beautiful and in tight black dresses, and there are champagne bottles popping all over the place. he playboy is in disbelief, and says to a guy passing by, "Hey - I thought this was supposed to be Hell. This looks great!" The guy says, "It is Hell. All the glasses have holes in them. And the women don't."
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A man with no arms and no legs is sat on a beach when he spots three playboy bunnies walking by him. They all spot him and feel bad for him so they try to cheer him up.
The first playboy bunny walks up to him and says; "Have you ever been hugged?" The man shakes his head so she gives him a hug.<br>The second playboy bunny approaches and asks "Have you ever been kissed?" The man shakes his head so she starts to kiss him.
The third and final playboy bunny walks over and asks "Have you ever been fucked?" The man smiles as he shakes his head, so the playboy bunny picks him up and throws him in the sea, shouting "Well you're fucked now!" Edit - ok yeah his name was Bob
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This is still on sale for under $100.00.
This is the best price on a DeWALT
This is the best price on a DeWALT
cordless drill you may ever see.
A similar drill by itself with nothing else sells for more than this complete kit!
You get the drill, charger, carrier bag and TWO batteries for under $ 100.00.
Don't miss this opportunity - the batteries are worth that much or more on their own.
Click on the picture or this link to find this deal but hurry up - this won't last at this price:
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A guy who's strapped for cash asks a prostitute what he can get for $10. She replies, "Well, for 10 bucks I'll give you a 'penguin.'" "Okay... Sure, I'll take it." So she gets down on her knees, lowers his pants, and begins giving him a blowjob. But right before he is about to cum, she gets up and walks away. The guy is confused, and starts to waddle after her, with his pants still around his ankles. "Wait, so this is a penguin?!?"
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A priest, a marriage counselor, and a notorious playboy are all at of a romantic breakfast for couples event when the announcer gets on stage and pulls back a curtain to reveal a coffee-making robot with hundreds of robotic arms. He announces that this robot automatically makes coffee for both the person picking it up and whoever they are having sex with at the time all at once. The priest nervously goes up first, waits for a moment, then receives three cups of coffee, his wife immediately storms out and slams the door after her.
The marriage counselor, now completely terrified, does the same thing and receives four cups, his wife storms out as well and slams the door behind her. Finally, the playboy goes up, absolutely drenched in sweat, the robot takes a second and makes a notification sound which the announcer notices and immediately leaves the stage. Surprisingly, the playboy gets only two cups of coffee and sits back down as the announcer goes into a nearby supply closet. Once he does so the priest leans over and says, “how’d you do that mate?” The playboy turns around looking white as a sheet and says, “oh I didn’t, I’m just waiting for the him to get back with more cups so I can pick the rest of my coffee up.”
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A mother cleaning her adolescent sons room finds a stash of hardcore German S&M porno mags...
Mortified, she puts them back so he won't know, but hides one in her apron to show her husband. Later that night they're in bed and she shows him the magazine... The father chuckles at first, assuming it was a Playboy, or Penthouse, but quickly becomes horrified at the images of whippings, and ball gags, and leather degradation... After an awkward moment the mother asks, "What do you think we should do"? Her husband thinks for a moment, then replies, " I have no idea, but I'm damn sure we shouldn't spank him".
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This would have been a god-send when I lived in the Caribbean and the power was going out every day...
I leave the one I have now out in the lanai now and it stays fully charged all the time. I just plug my phone in to it whenever I'm out there - and it keeps the phone at 100%. It's impressive. I bought another one this morning to keep on the dash of my truck.
For under $ 19 bucks, it's crazy not to have one. Even comes
with the charger cord. Click on the picture or this link:
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