It's certainly better when they're not imaginary, like most of my friends...
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Monday, August 31, 2020
Labor Day weekend already? Where did my goddamn summer go?
This year just cannot go by fast enough...
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My neighbors were just out walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be President someday. “If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?" She replied, “I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed with pride! “Wow…what a worthy goal,” I said... “But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!" “What do you mean?" she replied.
So I told her, You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house. She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work and you can just pay him the $50?" I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party!”
Her parents aren't speaking to me anymore.
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It's always in the way that they choose
to report things that it gets fucked up.
(CNN) More than a day after a man was shot and killed in downtown Portland Saturday night, as President Donald Trump supporters clashed with protesters against police, few details have emerged about what took place.
The Portland police haven't released any information about the victim. The person was shot in the chest, police said. Police had no suspect just after the shooting and are asking anyone who witnessed the incident or has first-hand video to contact them.
These are not cops, by the way...
They show Joe being forceful in decrying the violence, but report that it's Trump supporters that fuel the same violence - the anti-protester protesters are portrayed as the only villains.
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Tomatoes in my backyard garden.
Nice shot, huh?
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Here's a great idea for you guys
For when you find yourselves in a strange town or a different bar where you don't know anyone. If the bar is dark, you'll need to wait a minute to let your eyes adjust to the light before you do this.
As soon as you walk in, yell out "You cheating BITCH" and then watch the women seated at the bar.
The stool next to the woman who turned around fastest is where you wanna sit.
Trust me on this one...
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This goofy looking motherfucker is Wisconsin Gov. Tony Evers
Of course he's a democrat.
He urged President Trump on Sunday to "reconsider" his plans to visit Kenosha, Wis., which has been rocked by unrest for the past several nights following the shooting of Jacob Blake by police.
In a letter to the President shared by Evers's office Sunday afternoon, the governor cried that Trump's presence could "hinder" the state's 'attempts to heal' after a week of protests that he refuses to put an end to, the fuckin' pussy.
"I, along with other community leaders who have reached out, are concerned about what your presence will mean for Kenosha and our state. I am concerned your presence will only hinder our healing. I am concerned your presence will only delay our work to overcome division and move forward together," he wrote.
What a fuckin' pandering pussy.
What a fuckin' pandering pussy.
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It's 1945 - My father was home on leave from the Navy...
He had not yet mustered out after his stint on an LST in the Pacific. He'd been at sea during the Battle of Leyte Gulf - the largest naval conflict in human history. He comes home to see my Mom (they were not married yet) and wants to take her in to NYC on a date to go dancing to the Dorsey Band at the Hotel Pennsylvania.
They take the train in to the city from Newark, NJ where they both lived at the time, and get off at Penn station.
They go outside and hail a cab and tell the driver where they wanna go. They're very excited about seeing the band - this was a BIG deal back in those days. After about a 15 minute ride my father pays the cabbie and they go in to the Hotel and go to the show.
They have a GREAT time...
After the show they head out to get a cab back to the train station. My father hails one and they get in. He tells the cabby to take them to Penn Station and the cabbie turns around to him and looks at him like he's nuts and says: 'I hate to tell you Buddy, but it's RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.
The first cabbie had taken them for a ride and fleeced him for probably a buck and a half by driving around the block a few times!
The photo below was taken that night at the show.
That's my mother when she was 20. What a beautiful gal she was...
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I love new geeky kinda stuff like this.
Buy one and throw it in the glovebox just for the fuck of it.
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It absolutely obvious she good looking with a killer smile,
but that's not what I see. I see that fantastic smile.
That smile could stop your heart.
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Kids going to third grade this year
are getting free laptop computers.
are getting free laptop computers.
When I was a kid, we had to bring our own pencils to school.
Doesn't seem fair some how.
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You ain't gonna fuckin' believe this shit.
It's not malware or a virus or none of that shit. It's fuckin' craziness.
Open a new tab on your computer right now and type in this web address. You can also just just click on it right here and it'll open in a new tab:
Yup. That's right. It opens to this...
Tell me exactly what the flyin' fuck is THAT all about?
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Kamala and Joe's new TV ad.
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SHAKESPEARE WAS RIGHT.
"She" was in solitary confinement at Rikers’ Rose M. Singer Center at the time for allegedly assaulting other prisoners on three occasions.
Polanco was jailed in the first place because she was unable to post $500 bail for an arrest about two months before her death. She also had an open warrant. The family of Layleen Polanco, a 27-year-old transgender inmate who died in solitary confinement on Rikers Island, has settled with the city for $5.9 million over the high-profile death. The deal marks a record-high amount for an inmate death at a Gotham jail.
“This settlement will allow Layleen’s family to move forward without enduring years of protracted litigation and reliving their trauma,” Polanco’s family lawyer, David Shanies ( who's cut of this take is somewhere around TWO MILLION), said in a statement. “Achieving the largest settlement in the city’s history for a death in jail should serve as a powerful statement that trans lives matter.”
Polanco died on June 7, 2019.
You can't make this shit up.
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Why? You actually havta ask why?
It's because we're fuckin' idiots - that's why. Jeez.
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In case you somehow thought that maybe - just maybe - California had a chance to regain some degree of normalcy, may I present:
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Kenosha sees 175 arrested during civil unrest so far; 102 had addresses listed outside city, police say.
And you tell me this shit ain't oganized? Go fuck yourself.
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No idea what year this was, but they got some balls
tryin' to sell that bullshit that way, huh?
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The seeming exodus comes just days after it was revealed residents in the area are planning to sue the city after thousands of homeless people were put up in luxury hotels in the neighborhood due to the coronavirus pandemic.
Natives of the typically up-scale neighborhood say the moving in of the vagrants has brought with them increased crime, random violence, drugs, public urination and open prostitution. Some locals claim sex offenders have also moved into the streets. Long lines were seen outside of a number of U-Haul stations in the neighborhood across Saturday and Sunday, with moving vehicles lining residential streets and discarded furniture stacked on the sidewalk left by locals seeking pastures new.
While the end of the month often proves to be a busy moving period in the Big Apple, Guardian Angels founder Curtis Sliwa told the NY Post that he believes the 'mass evacuation' of Upper West Siders from NYC is now in 'full effect.'
It's a cryin' fuckin' shame what this piecashit deBlazio is doing to my most favorite city. The motherfucker.
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Why buy knock-offs when you can get
the originals for almost the same price, right?
This is a great set. Mine is under my driver's seat in the truck.
Find one like it for yourself here:
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A Syrian fruit vendor in front
of a destroyed building.
As bad as some of our big cities have gotten, you can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for these poor bastards.
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It would appear the libs have given up
their pussy hats for more vigorous exercises, doesn't it?
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A 23-year-old former porn star, her boyfriend and another man were charged in the death of a man found buried in a shallow grave in Florida last week, reports said.
I googled her name 'cause I never heard of her before and a buncha this stupid shit came up. Fuckin' incest porn? Really? How fucked up are people these days? Jeez friggin' Louise.
Lauren Wambles, who goes by Aubrey Gold, was charged with being a principal to the murder of 51-year-old Raul Guillen. The body of Guillen, who had been missing since early July, was found Tuesday off a road in the city of Graceville, Florida.
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I post this just in case you are still
holding out hope for the coming generation...
Hundreds of morons crammed into a pool area near the University of South Carolina over the weekend in violation of 'coronavirus rules'. The Columbia Fire Department said it broke up the massive bash on Saturday at around 6 p.m. after receiving calls from concerned neighbors. “It was almost like Mardi Gras,” Fire Chief Aubrey Jenkins told the newspaper.
The pool at The Apartments at Palmetto Compress was packed with revelers, who also crowded the side of the swimming area and even stood on top of the pool house. No one was practicing social distancing or wearing a mask, Jenkins said, “but there was lots of drinking going on.” Even without the raging pandemic, “there still would have been too many people in the pool,” Jenkins said.
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Given the opportunity, people you think you know pretty well will disappoint you 94.73% of the time. It's a scientific fact.
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Did you know that Geena Davis was a Victoria’s Secret model back in 1981? I sure as fuck never heard that. She was smokin' hot when she was younger. (Not so much now).
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A powerful smaller laptop at a great price.
I bought one for my wife for doing her online Etsy stuff. I admit I'm own stock in HP so I'm kinda a homer when it comes to that particular company.
Find it or a similar one here:
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Joni Mitchell plays her guitar outside the Revolution Club in London, 1968. Her voice - and her face - always annoyed the fuck outta me. Juss' sayin'
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I'll leave ya with this:
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One of the coolest things about living in Florida is that the roses bloom all-year-round. This is yesterday.
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A buddy of mine in NJ had this same machine in his basement. He had 'connections' if ya know what I mean.
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Ye olde trip to Jerusalem, in Nottingham UK, one of the oldest pubs in the world, dating back to 1189.
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One more from the Christmas cartoon archives...
... Thanks to a lot of you guys, Babs had a great month leading up to Christmas. She still has a number of items in her store. Ne...
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Like i said yesterday - It's a treasure trove of great cartoons. Enjoy... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ......
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You know I'm a sucker for the side-boob thing... -
Trust me - these guys have very good taste... ... ... Follow this blog - there's special places and people I can introduce you t...
