The one question I hate the most is the one I get the most...

 99.8769344% of the people here in North Central Florida are from somewhere else. So am I, but shut the fuck up about it... 

 

The number one conversation starter around here is ' So - where are you from?' to which I almost always respond "Wuddya need to know that for - you writing a book or something?"  

 

I live here in Florida, and it's none of your fuckin' business where I'm 'from, okay? So shut the fuck up with that. AND - if you try to guess and say 'New York' because you think I have some kinda accent, I'm probably gonna put my Marlboro out in your beer, dickhead. 

And besides - I don't have an accent - all of you midwest Iowa and Minnesota farmer motherfuckers got accents, not me - so there...

 

There's a million good reasons to get the fuck outta there. High crime rates. ridiculous, dense population - NJ has the highest population concentration per square mile in the world. (Except maybe some place in India, but who gives a shit about them anyways). 

 

Insanely high property taxes are a big reason. My last house there I paid 

$ 22,000 a friggin' year in property taxes to my town. Sales tax. State income tax. Cigarettes are $ 13.00 a pack. No bags in crocery stores ferfucksake. How many more reasons I havta give yuz? And besides - I have a palm tree in my front yard here. You can only say that for a bout two months a year up in Jersey, and it gets real expensive buying new ones every spring. 

Don't even get me started on the friggin' traffic. People in Los Angeles laugh at Jersey for the traffic. It's crazy - especially in the summer. And forget about going in to the city...

 

As I have said too many times: It's a good place to be FROM - but I heeded my own advice. As Walnuts says:

 

New Jersey has been - according to Allied Van Lines - the number one state to migrate out of in our country, topping the list in 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021. Great record - something to be proud of, huh?

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There is ONE thing I do miss about Jersey:

 

If you don't know and appreciate the simple pleasure involved here, you've lived a dull life, my friends. I'd give my left nut for one good hard roll here - where all of the bread sold here (in Florida) is made for people with no teeth...
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And - before I stray completely, let me add 

one more thing to list of reasons to leave:

 

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 Robert Clary, a French-born survivor of Nazi concentration camps during World War II who played a feisty prisoner of war in the improbable 1960s sitcom “Hogan’s Heroes,” has died. He was 96. Clary died Wednesday of natural causes at his home in the Los Angeles area, niece Brenda Hancock said Thursday.

“He never let those horrors defeat him,” Hancock said of Clary’s wartime experience as a youth. “He never let them take the joy out of his life. He tried to spread that joy to others through his singing and his dancing and his painting.”

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This is a cross-section of a municipal water pipe encrusted with groundwater salt. I imagine our pipes in Newark looked similar to that but caked with heavy metals and minerals instead of salt. My father always swore that was the reason the Italian bread was so good there. I think he was probably right. Some of the water mains still in use up there are over 150 years old.

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Those pie-in-the-sky people over at GM actually think they're gonna sell a boatload of these. Good for them for their optomism, if nothing else. 300k. Get the fuck outta here.

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I'm not fixated or nuthin', but hey - she has blossomed in to a really good looking woman and she is talented as fuck. My observation here sorta is the package just keeps getting better as she gets older. Well played you talented babe, you...

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On a deserted island. All by myself with no hope of ever getting off, but there's a lifetime supply of this shit and a can opener. That's all I got to survive. Maybe - and even then just maybe. How fuckin' disgusting must this hadda been? Yikes...

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