Sorry - didn't mean to yell at you, but...
During election coverage, whenever you hear the words “oil”, “fracking”, or “Ukraine” take a swig. Then, when the numbers begin to give way to “blue states” or “red states,” it might be time to switch to something stronger.
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Kicking Off the 2020 Election Night Drinking Game
- If you’re watching election coverage without rocking an I Voted sticker: Take one drink.
- If Kentucky is the first state to announce results: Take one sip of bourbon.
- Any time the phrase “too close to call” is uttered: Take one drink.
- Any time a state is declared for a candidate: Name the state’s capital city or sip the number of electoral votes awarded from the state. (Better brush up on your state capitals before playing along… but really, please drink responsibly)
- Any mention of voter fraud: Pretend to take a drink.
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After tonight somebody you know -
probably half the people you know actually -
is gonna need this. Be a sport - get it for them...
You'll find the book here:
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Voting Numbers & Analysis
- Any mention of exit polling or Nate Silver & FiveThirtyEight: Project how many drinks you’ll consume tonight, then take one more drink.
- Any mention of Daniel Dale or fact-checking the candidates: Announce how many drinks you’ve actually consumed thus far, then take another drink.
- Any mention of “new voting demographics”: One drink.
- Any mention of “highest voter turnout since _____”: One drink.
- If you hear someone say, “This is the most important/consequential election”: Two drinks.
- Any mention of your current Congressperson/Senator/Governor by name: One drink.
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I am SO glad she made the cut...
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These are really comfortable pants. No kidding.
They're seriously comfortable -
perfect for this time of year.
At under 25 bucks each, a good deal, too. See for yourself:
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The Candidates
- If Trump is shown in a video wearing a mask in public: One drink.
- If Biden is shown in a video not wearing a mask in public: One drink.
- Anytime Trump hyperbolizes, give a mini-speech about how “you are the greatest, everyone else watching with you is a loser”: One drink.
- Anytime Trump says Jai-na (aka China), calls Coronavirus “Kung-Flu” or “China Flu”: Drink a Tsingtao.
- If Trump is shown in video calling Biden “Sleepy Joe”: Take a power nap then take one drink when you awake.
- Any mention of the “Hunter Biden Scandal”: Finish your drink and yell “ALL CLEAR.”
- Take a shot if any outlet references a celebrity without any political experience as a viable candidate in 2024.
- Any time Trump prematurely declares himself the victor: Prematurely finish your beer in less than 10 seconds.
- If Joe Biden is shown wearing sunglasses: Put on your own sunglasses and chug a beer until that clip is over.
- If you see a clip of Joe Biden saying “Malarkey” or “Come on man”: Enjoy a Werthers Original and sip on some “Dad Beers.”
- Any time Trump’s taxes are brought up: Hand out a drink tax to someone else in the room.
- Any time Kamala is shown: Give a side-eye to someone else in the room while enjoying a sip of beer.
My sentiments exactly...
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Now THAT is marryin' material.
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For all of the people who voted for the wrong guy.
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And I'll leave ya with her...
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After tonight, no matter how it goes, this is gonna be a very popular item, and seein' as how these days are pretty fuckin' bizarre, it makes perfect sense to be as prepared for anything as you can be.
People are they buying them for themselves, they're buying them for their kids, their girlfriends and their wives. Personally, I have one in each of our vehicles - I think it's a great idea. Better safe than sorry is the best way to be these days..
There are a couple different strengths available here - find the one that's right for you:
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