Wednesday, July 8, 2020

Things I haven't learned yet? You wouldn't be surprised.



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The only real problems in life 
Start when you stop learning... 

Modern day problems? Maybe, but -

I never found out who let the dogs out... 
How to get to Sesame Street... 
Why Dora doesn't just use Google Maps... 
Why we don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"...
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed... 
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word...
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons... 
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections...
Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"..
Where's that extra penny going to... 
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane...
Why does The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune...
Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs...
and  -  just what is Victoria's secret?
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If a dog breaks a mirror, is it really 49 years bad luck or 
does it just feel like it's  that long?
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It's certainly been hotter than fuck here this spring.
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Buy 'em here cheaper then HD or Lowes: 

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This just in from the 'CAN YA BRING US
 ANY GOOD NEWS EVER?' Department:

Americans will wear masks for ‘several years’ due to coronavirus according to this asshole/expert


Health experts won’t ask Americans to take off their masks anytime soon. That’s the take of Eric Toner, a senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security. He has been preparing for an outbreak like the novel coronavirus as part of his work for years.

Johns Hopkins practices virus simulations as part of its preparedness protocol, with the goal of offering public health experts and policymakers a blueprint for what to do in a pandemic. One of those simulations took place in October 2019, when Toner and a team of researchers launched a coronavirus pandemic simulation in New York, running through various scenarios on how residents, governments and private businesses would hypothetically react to the threat.

One thing that stood out to him: Face coverings are a vital defense to stop the spread of the virus. He believes COVID-19 won’t slow down in the US even as states start to slowly reopen. “There’s going to be no summertime lull with a big wave in the fall,” he said as part of CNET’s Hacking the Apocalypse series. “It’s clear that we are having a significant resurgence of cases in the summer, and they’ll get bigger. And it’ll keep going until we lock things down again.”
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Maybe a little classic Grand Funk will 
ease us in to the morning a little better...

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They just can NOT get their shit together - and never will - with this Murphy moron steering the boat.
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Yup - that's at the Jersey Shore.
We're plain talkers.
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Ilhan Omar has paid new husband’s 
consulting firm $878,000, filings show


The towelhead jerkoff and her 'new' husband. Close your eyes and try 
to imagine how big a jerkoff  THIS GUY IS. Betcha can't do it.

Ilhan Omar - as big a jerkoff as any you'll ever know -  has continued quietly funneling hundreds of thousands of dollars to her new husband’s consulting film, including a $189,000 windfall in March - just weeks after they announced they had tied the knot, campaign data shows.

The payments between the Minneapolis Democratic congresswoman and Tim Mynett prompted at least one ethics complaint in 2019 after  allegations - made by Mynett’s then-wife in her divorce filing - that Omar was having an affair with the member of her political consulting team, who was at the time married to another woman. Omar was married to her second husband at the time.

But that doesn’t appear to have stopped the now-married couple, with Mynett’s E Street Group collecting $292,814.99 from his wife’s campaign this year for digital advertising, fundraising consulting and research services, according to the Federal Election Commission filings.
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Things only New Jerseyans would understand


1. Benny is an acronym for people from Bayonne, Elizabeth, Newark, and New York (or other places near them) who visit the Jersey Shore.

2. In New Jersey, making a standard left isn’t practical. You’re going to have to take a jug handle, which forces you to go right on to a slip road and then proceed straight through the intersection.

3. Pork roll. Taylor Ham. Whatever you may call the delicious breakfast meat, it is pretty much only known in New Jersey.

4. Get used to being spoiled when you go to a gas station. Here in New Jersey, we don’t pump our own gas.

5. Traffic circles are modern roundabouts that have been taking over New Jersey intersections.

6. We love the Jersey Shore, not the MTV show.

7. South Jersey refer to certain sandwiches as hoagies. North Jersey refers to them subs or heroes.

8. “Down the shore” means you are going to the beach. Benny’s say “at the shore.”

9. South Jersey goes to Wawa. North Jersey goes to QuickChek.

10. It’s Great Adventure, not Six Flags.

11. A real diner has disco fries, pork roll, egg, and cheese sandwiches, and is open 24/7.

12. People are raised in North, Central or South Jersey, not New Jersey.

13. When someone asks “What exit?” it means what part of New Jersey you are from.

14. We take our bagels and pizza extremely seriously.

15. While there is an industrial area of the New Jersey Turnpike, the entire state does not have a bad smell.


16. “Mischief Night” is the night before Halloween.
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I like simple. This is simple. See it for yourself:
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Reason Number One maybe:

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This has Florida written all over it but it probably isn't. 

Gotta give 'em props for bein' creative.
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If you didn't live through it, you really don't have a fuckin' clue how stupid 'BeatleMania' really was...
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This chick was genuinely creepy.
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The Texas State Fair has been canceled for first time since WWII because of this fuckin' virus bullshit.
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If, and it's a big IF, it actually DOES happen.
I'm not holding my breath.
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I agree. We will fuck these kids up forever if they 
don't go back to school REAL soon.
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That's just great imagery, isn't it?
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This is a big deal here in N. Central Florida. We need for these guys to get back to business. Orlando's 45-ish miles from where I am.

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The 70's were a different place in time, that's for sure...
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So wuddya suppose the kitten got popped for?
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And, just in case you've forgotten 
that the world has lost it's collective
 fucking mind, I present:

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Have you stopped listening to these so-called fucking 'experts' yet? If ya haven't ya should start stopping right now. They're all talkin' through their hats.
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This is a really comfortable work shoe, and I hate work shoes. I just can't wear sneakers all the time - especially when I'm up on a roof.


Find 'em here at a really good price:
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Who knew, huh? He did seem like a bit of a dick.
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This is where I usta live in Jersey. Nice area.

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This was my view of the inlet 
from the west looking east:

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Bird's eye view of the beach in Asbury Park. Nice.
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5 comments:

  1. Baseball can kiss my ass. Any sport that supports kneeling to the National Anthem can kiss my ass.

    I didn't give up 3 years 4 months and 18 days of my life serving my country to have these multi-millionaire, so called athlete's, disrespect the country, the flag, my fellow brothers in arms and my fellow citizens.

    Yes there are problems in this country. That doesn't give them the right to disrespect everything I pointed out above. You want to protest, fine. Do it at another time and place. Put some of those millions where your knees currently are.

    Fuck them. I hope they starve.

    Nemo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I left pro sports (or they left me) 40 years ago when player unions and free agency came in.

      I know how you feel.

      Delete
    2. Two people made famous by kneeling?

      Colin and Monica

      Delete
  2. I only heard North and South Jersey (50s, aunt lived in Ridgewood, we were from Philly burbs).

    And you learned 14 from us.

    PS Beatlemania was more goofy than anything else. Came just before the Lefties took over everything. Harmless fun.

    The Good Old Days really were.

    ReplyDelete

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